How often can you find stillness, or peace? I don’t mean in amongst the kids noise, or the comings and goings of the household, or the busy-ness of life. I mean, inside your head.
Is your head full of list building or is it full of wee voices telling you
- who you should be with whom
- what you should think and care about
- how to do better, how to fail, how to succeed
- how you need to dress, behave and talk
- pushing you to sort out other people’s problems
- pulling you to speak up or shut up
- to expect more or less of someone/something
- what another’s action really means
Where do allow yourself to be yourself?
Is it on a walk alone, doing the ironing, craft work, dancing, yoga, is it playing with the kids when nobody else is watching? Maybe you’re completely yourself with your partner, in bed, quietly chatting. Maybe not.
When you turn up at work, who takes over, you or the person you feel the role requires. Do you play bigger, or smaller than the real you?
Exhausted Yet?
I know I am, those lists have wiped me out and I’m not even living them! A year after I separated from my husband, I went to the annual summer party held by neighbours. I was just getting used to turning up at social occasions on my own, but as I knew everyone, I felt perfectly safe. I wandered around, schmoozing and chatting and eating burnt burgers, sipping my glass of wine and having a good time. I began to lose count of the number of people who having chatted with me for a while said
‘You’re such a different person to the one last year. You look much more relaxed, your face isn’t taut, it’s lovely to speak to you now.’
OMG. I had been completely unaware of how much I’d changed, it often takes others to tell you. It was true, I was much more relaxed. Although the party was in full swing, I was at peace inside myself. I was able to be me, and not many of them had met that me before. Come to think of it, I hadn’t either!
You know, so often we think we’re presenting what we think others either expect to see or want to see. In truth, everyone just wants us to be ourselves. Why then do we think otherwise?
It’s not always a conscious act on our part, the giveaway is likely to be your stress levels, your fear levels, your ability to be vulnerable and say what you really want to say, and your need to be liked.
What if you could be liked more as the real you, what if you could love yourself, and others loved you too – wouldn’t that be wonderful? And, they will, many already can tell that there’s more to you than you let on. Is it now time to drop your guard?
Even if you don’t yet know who is behind the guard, I guarantee you’ll start looking younger, healthier, more relaxed, more approachable and will have a lot more fun to boot.
Image Credit – Coming Home by Ruthie Redden Prints available to purchase
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