This week in the Being Me hot seat, I have the wizard, Tom Evans! Some of you will know that Tom and I are not only great friends, but that I’m a Tour Guide for his creation, The Cube of Karma, part of the Recipes for Fresh Thinking portal. Tom is one of the most fascinating people I know, he turns most beliefs on their head and talks about evolution in a way which is so easy to follow that you can’t help but nod in agreement. Even though you think you haven’t got a clue what he’s talking about, when you let go of that belief, somewhere deep inside, you know that it’s true, even if it is just a model!
What do you love most about being you?
I’ve always loved my enthusiasm, inventiveness, inquisitiveness and general ’joie de vivre’. I love my authenticity and now, as I love the ‘work’ I do so don’t technically ‘work’ any more now the private Tom, business Tom and author Tom are one and the same
What do you least like?
I have held a repeated pattern for many years of rushing into things, flitting from one thing to the next and, as a consquence, being frustrated things haven’t worked out quite as I hoped. The next shiny thing very often became the excuse for the last thing not working.
Was there a time when you really didn’t like being you?
In my mid-forties, I threw my toys out of the pram when I left my last ’real job’ disgusted at the way the management treated their employees (and I was one of the managers who fought a losing battle). I could have handled my departure from the corporate world with more grace and elegance – the mitigating circumstances were not an excuse.
What was your biggest hang up?
This has to be fear of my own success. I’ve been quite successful in business but this always equated with a stressful time so, for me, Success = Stress. As a result, I have used my creativity to ’successfully’ avoid success, i.e. stress.
How have you overcome it?
By redefining what success is. I now don’t measure it financially say with so much earnings a month but with a status something like this. “The Right Flow of clients and projects, at the Right Time as a result of my taking Right Action. In turn, this Flow gives me plenty of time to spend exploring and researching, writing and creating new books and training programmes and enjoying life in general.
What have you learned?
That there are only two types of eventualities in life. Ones that confirm you are on path and ones to warn you that you have strayed off it.
How has it affected your relationships?
I have noticed that those around you at any particular time, and the behaviours they exhibit, mirror what is going on in your ’minds’. As a result, unless I am healing or working therapeutically, prefer to spend time with creative people with a positive mindset. This is easy to pull off as the repulsion and attraction seems to be automatic.
If you have any, what are your stumbling blocks?
Being a Busy Fool and serving others before myself. In a depressurised aircraft they tell you to sort your own oxygen out first. After publishing my first book, for a year, I didn’t write or publish any more of my own work. I ran writing workshops and had a script in my head like, “It doesn’t matter if I don’t write a best seller so long as one of my students does.” Now I realise how dumb this is. Of course, the experience of writing a book that can become a best seller, and making it one, is an invaluable learning that can be passed on. I am on the case!
What advice would you give others who don’t yet like themselves?
On a piece of paper, make a table with two columns.
In column 1, write down all the things you don’t like about yourself.
In column 2, write down what you could learn by converting each Dislike into a Like.
Then, no faster than at one a week, take Right Action and start the conversion process. When you are done, get in touch with Jackie to have your journey featured here.
About Tom :
Tom Evans is 21st century renaissance man. He has been described as being something between a polymath and a jack of all trades and master of none. He is a broadcast engineer turned author, writer’s unblocker, wizard of light bulb moments and generally good bloke to have in your network. Find out more at Recipes for Fresh Thinking.
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Next week I’m joined by Debbie Nicol of Business en Motion.
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