Joining me today in the Being Me spotlight is Debbie Nicol of Business En Motion. I was first introduced to Debbie through her books Embers. A vivacious Australian, living and working in Dubai, Debbie had a momentous experience in the 2004 Tsunami which precipitated changes in how she thought and experienced life.
What do you love most about being you?
Being me means being ever-curious, effervescent and never-ending. My awe for ‘all things life’ simply oozes when I’m ‘in flow’ which is a large percentage of time. I love being one who regenerates, and thrives, seeking change and adventure whilst relishing the fruits of my exploration. I love learning and creating. Through creating I learn most!
What do you like least?
Nothing too long and despairing for this, as I answer it today. Many years ago, the above ‘loves’ would have been overridden by this answer, a long-list of ‘it’s not fairs’. Perhaps what doesn’t always serve me the best is when my reflective qualities are overtaken by impatience for quick results. When this kicks in, I simply remind myself that it will happen when it’s the right time.
Was there a time when you really didn’t like being you?
A double-pronged question I feel. When I didn’t like being me, I probably WASN’T being me, and that’s why it didn’t feel right. When I sought validation from others, I was always unsure, lacking conviction and not able to hear my intuition.
What was your biggest hangup?
My biggest hangup was probably about control. I’ve had much control in my life environment, and you tend to become ‘under the influence’ of what you are surrounded by without any idea that it’s happening! Was I aware at the time that it was a hangup – absolutely not! In fact, that very control also equipped me with some very powerful positives too! Yet, as I matured and opened to myself more, I could see the extent of the influence. I didn’t necessarily like what I saw, and knew ‘something had to give’.
How have you overcome it?
Some make the mistake to wait for the rains to come to clean out their gutters. Others start the cleaning process proactively! My situation was a combo of external push and internal drive. The external push was a combo of physical occurrences such as my body freezing, and experiencing the tsunami, and social situations. Internally, the drive was my emotions spotlighting misalignment, vulnerability, ‘stuckness’ etc. At the same time, the universe took any decision that could have been made into its own hands, by removing any possibility of running further. In fact, it reduced my environment to nothing but endless possibility to reflection. I could barely move, I had no job, I was unclear of ‘what was next’ which all meant ‘pure reflection time’ – stop, look, listen and feel! I had to meet myself! Thereafter, I also processed a lot through writing.
What have you learned?
When the above happens you simply can’t hide from yourself – no option but to meet face to face! A must-do to be in touch with ‘who you are’
There can be no time limits on this – it will take what it needs to take
It will hurt – hurt to the core; if it doesn’t you probably are still missing ‘you’
You have a choice – to be a victim or victor of any situation
How has it affected your relationships?
My relationship with myself is fully confident and aligned. I know myself, trust myself and know what it feels like to be me. Sometimes I can’t help but let out a huge chuckle when it feels that good! I become connected to most others more quickly. When there may be a misalignment, I now instantly ask myself ‘what is it that I’m not doing that would allow that relationship to prosper’. That was not always the case. One relationship I still can work on is between me and my work! Yet, because I work at what I love doing, is it wrong to be out of balance, as out of balance in that context means what?
If you have any, what are your stumbling blocks ?
Self-doubt had a habit of creeping in, wondering how much longer it would take to hit the destination. The stumbling really ceased though once I got off the ‘destination bus’ and stepped onto the ‘journey bus’. It really was a lesson in trust for me!
What advice would you give others who do not yet like themselves?
There are many techniques ‘out there’ to try. Each certainly has merit and I believe each will offer you at least one new point. They are all from the same place of intention. However, they cannot be positive for you until YOU are positive for you. There needs to be self-investment to break through the barriers, and this will work through reflection and connection. Stop, look, listen and feel and then one by one, remove the sticks of rubbish from your personal trash heap to allow the intuition, inner strength and voice that we all have, lead you to yourself. It will happen. It did for me.
About Debbie
Debbie Nicol is an accomplished speaker, trainer, change practitioner and author. As owner of business en motion , Debbie’s new concept and change model embers of the world emphasizes the importance of reflection and connection for change and development to thrive.
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Join me next week when I will be speaking to Vena Ramphal, whose work focuses on changing the way we love and make love.
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